Introduction
Bereavement
Bereavement is a mouthful of a word. Seldom do we use it until grieving a person or pet’s death. It then becomes a very intimate definition. During a state of grief, it can also be an instrument of blame.
Blame
Whoa, why bring blame into bereavement? Bereaved people tend to blame someone during their loss. Whether criticism crosses paths with friends, families, health professionals or the Heavenly Father, the projectile of hurt points its gun. Blame can beat its fists within one’s own heart as well. The tactic attempts to deflect the inevitable reality. However, this weapon will never work in dodging discomfort.
Since the beginning of time blame has been an old-time buddy of sin.
And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. Gen. 3:13
Then said they unto him, Tell us, we pray thee, for whose cause this evil is upon us; What is thine occupation? And whence comest thou? What is thy country? And of what people art thou? Jonah 1:8
As a derivative of sin, death, loss and grief are disconcerting. Nothing good comes out of bereavement or blame. Wouldn’t you agree, grief is downright abusive? As believers, we must go to the Bible. Only God can give discretion on this matter destroying our composure.
… and the Bible
What does the Bible say about being bereaved? Let’s dive into the Hebrew by using Bible Hub’s Topical Lexicon. The Hebrew root shakol paints the vivid picture of being “bereaved, deprived, or make childless.” Scripture applies it to human families, livestock, crops and cities, weaving a consistent thread: the cutting off fruitfulness and is either a warning of covenant judgment or a sign of covenant blessing being removed.
The context regards the bereaved as being removed from God’s blessings. The application extends to grief of all sorts. Today’s version includes loss of job, relationship, health, cash, status, appearance etc. Insert your own story into the list.
What is concerning is the bereaved are not participating in God’s blessings. How can anyone categorize this as just a normal experience to endure? Left out of the fullness of God’s lovingkindness is not what is best for anyone. A state of sorrow only leaves one dangling in depression if the thread of Salvation remains invisible.
But, What Do We Do With Bereavement?
Every grieving person needs hope for healing and truth on how healing happens. Intelligence can’t figure it out. Education can’t eradicate it. Doctors don’t have a prescription for it. Only God can perform heart surgery and remove the tumor of sorrow. He lays out the operation plan in Scripture. Once the eyes of faith are enlightened by the Word, what to do with bereavement becomes clear as crystal.
Then said the LORD unto me, Thou hast well seen: for I will hasten my word to perform it. Jer. 1:12
Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law. Ps. 119:18
To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me. Acts 26:18
So let’s get moving out of this depressing land by venturing to a disaster site! Yes, it is a city destroyed by fire where this deliverance has occurred.
Why am I taking you to an incineration site to find relief for grief? Because if David discovered victory after a vicious attack on his heart, so can you. Trust God by putting your pain in a wheelbarrow, for it is going to Ziklag. You will certainly dump it there after you learn David’s secret in ridding sorrow.
A Heap of Hurt
Imagine coming home to find a heap of ashes and your loved ones kidnapped. It happened to David.
And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire; And had taken the women captives, that were therein: they slew not any, either great or small, but carried them away, and went on their way. So David and his men came to the city, and, behold, it was burned with fire; and their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, were taken captives. Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep. And David’s two wives were taken captives, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, and Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite. 1 Sam. 30: 1-5
To add onto this grief, David’s companions conspired to stone him. What for? It was out of grief their hearts grew bitter in blame.
And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: 1 Samuel 30:6
but …….
Here comes the difference maker my friend! What David does next grinds grief into a useless powder.
But David encouraged himself in the LORD his God. 1 Samuel 30:6
King David didn’t join the grief group of conspirators but turned to God. He wouldn’t allow weeping to be his guide. As David sought God, he received instruction. His answer was clear, pursue the enemy.
And David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech’s son, I pray thee, bring me hither the ephod. And Abiathar brought thither the ephod to David, And David enquired at the LORD, saying, Shall I pursue after this troop? Shall I overtake them? And he answered him, Pursue: for thou shalt surely overtake them, and without fail recover all. 1 Sam. 30:7-8
God didn’t say to sit and sulk or cover yourself in sackcloth, He directed David to pursue and defeat this evil. The result? He received victory and full recovery of all that was lost.
And David recovered all that the Amalekites had carried away: and David rescued his two wives. And there was nothing lacking to them, neither small nor great, neither sons nor daughters, neither spoil, nor any thing that they had taken to them: David recovered all. And David took all the flocks and the herds, which they drave before those other cattle, and said, This is David’s spoil. 1 Samuel 30: 18-20
If David laid down in the bed of bereavement, sorrow and blame would have settled into his heart. He didn’t waste time defending his innocence or painting a mask of strength. The enemy coming against his soul was entrusted to the Lord. Don’t miss this pertinent point. Dual battles waged on in David’s situation. The obvious is with the Amalekites and the unseen to the physical eye is with Satan. War with the Amalekites was a catalyst for the devil to destroy God’s people, peace and possessions. However, God has a history of helping and healing His children. While the story of David is penned in the past, its application is relevant for your pain. His name is not on a prescription bottle but in the Bible: Jesus.
The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Jn. 10:10
Application for Today
Look around, loss and its tag-a-long bereavement haven’t quit thrashing people today. The bruises are blackened with such symptoms as despondency, dread, discombobulation, malady, rage, moodiness, insensitivity, numbness and more. It may take seconds or years to recover from its staggering blows. But there’s an alternative to being grief’s punching bag because Jesus received these blows for you. Therefore, the persecutor doesn’t have entrance rights into your heart anymore. Jesus took the punishment to give you, His peace.
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Is. 53:4-5
Instead of allowing sadness to bow your head, look to the cross. The crucifixion held God’s gavel of judgment, crushing sin and sorrow, to set you free. Ponder Jesus shedding His blood for every tear dripping from your eyes. Jesus offers His towel of compassion to absorb your hour of disappointment. Let this simmer into your soul as the Holy Spirit shows you death and sorrow have no power over you. Turning to God like David will transform your disposition. Receive the everlasting peace, comfort and joy packaged in grace. I pray your eyes of faith are opened to comprehend and welcome the same encouragement found by David.
For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified. 1 Cor. 2:2
Conclusion
Dear follower of Jesus, you don’t need to be strong or smart to be successful in your emotional battle. Heavenly wisdom is required when the spirit of sorrow strikes. The Spirit within you holds greater power to rid grief and restore health. Even if your fleshly desires are left unfulfilled, Christ will redesign them. He will first fill sorrow’s holes with His love and begin organizing new dreams. He will make you whole again. Forgo people or possessions to fill in empty spaces. Jesus is the key to Heaven’s satisfaction. Knowing Christ is superior to your temporary affliction. Remember, contentment and encouragement are always available in the ashes.
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:11-13
And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power. Col. 2:20